Polarization Detox Challenge

Day 5

peter — Sat, 23 Sep 2023 07:32:35 +0000

Week 4 Cooperative Change

Day 5

Adapt to Setbacks

The key here is to learn how intractability happens and how to navigate these conflicts by taking a long view of these challenges according to the best research on effective decision-making in complex, unpredictable environments.

Today's Inspiring Playlist Listen On Spotify

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Exercises

Choose Your Lift Level

What do you have capacity for today? Whether it's a light lift, or something a little heavier, taking a step is what counts.

5 minutes 20 minutes Practice

5 minutes

Get Attracted

Check out this 5-minute interactive game on attractor landscapes.

Play The Game

The Science Behind It

Attractors are the primary concept from physics and complexity science that my colleagues and I have employed to understand how some complex social conflicts get stuck in long-term patterns that become highly resistant to change. They help us understand how many different aspects of conflicts can combine and align in ways that work together to keep us attracted and trapped in their lure.

This game, developed by the artist and computer scientist Nicky Case, is a fun way to become more familiar with the strange, unpredictable dynamics associated with attractors. So, keep the political issue you chose for this week in mind, play the game, and imagine that your attempts to move the needle on the issue are responding like an attractor would. What insights arise from this?

20 minutes

Why Are Many Community Problems So Hard to Change?

After checking out the definition of "attractors" from the Light Lift Exercise, use this worksheet to review what I call the 7 Crude Laws of Nonlinear Change, and then reflect on how you might make adjustments for them when planning and problem-solving for effecting change on your issue of choice.

Get The Worksheet

The more familiar we become with how both linear (incremental) and nonlinear (tipping-point) types of change unfold over time (often simultaneously, but at different rates of change), the less surprised we will be when our actions are met with no effects, delayed effects, backfires, or otherwise unexpected outcomes. This is key to what George Herbert Mead called systemic wisdom, or the capacity to understand the inherent propensities of the complex, dynamic context in which a conflict is embedded and to work with the dynamics of the system to support the emergence of more constructive patterns - in other words, understanding and leveraging the power of the situation.

Practice

Set a daily reminder

Get daily exercise reminders on your phone or email throughout The Challenge to stay on track.

Better navigate politically polarizing situations

Repair strained relationships with family and friends

Become a less reactive and more effective communicator

The post Day 5 appeared first on Polarization Detox Challenge.

Day 4

peter — Sat, 23 Sep 2023 07:27:23 +0000

Back To Exercises

Week 4 Cooperative Change

Day 4

Move to Synchronize

When you feel trapped by polarization, get up and get moving with others to escape and build connections. It's neuroscience!

Today's Inspiring Playlist Listen On Spotify

Share today's exercises

Exercises

Choose Your Lift Level

What do you have capacity for today? Whether it's a light lift, or something a little heavier, taking a step is what counts.

5 minutes 1 hour 1 week

5 minutes

Move Around to Avoid Tribal War

Read this article about how a radical policy implemented decades ago in Botswana aimed to reduce the odds of ethnic tribal warfare in the nation. It worked. Read, learn, and reflect on what this could look like in the U.S.

Read The Article

The Science Behind It

Today in the U.S., red and blue Americans are physically segregating - in terms of reds going rural and blues going urban, but also, within individual cities, reds and blues are moving away from each other and into their own tribal neighborhoods. This, unfortunately, is a recipe for political violence.

1 hour

Cook Together

Read this article on building relationships by cooking together, and try it with someone from the other team.

Read The Artcile

The Science Behind It

Some of my more enlightened mediator and peacemaker colleagues swear by the power of cooking and eating together to break down walls and get disputants more in sync. One bakes and brings fresh hot bread to his group encounter sessions. Another asks disputants to cook with her and sit down to eat before they discuss their differences. A third, a pastor in Watertown, NY, invites red and blue partisans to a weekly Monday breakfast where they eat and talk politics. The trick to his success, he claims, is that the food is so good that people keep coming back and talking - until they realize what they don't understand about the issues under discussion. Ideally, to build on the power of synchrony, cooking together before feasting is ideal. Sláinte!

1 week

Live With Someone From Another Political Neighborhood

Either sign up with an organization like the American Exchange Project or Share Our America - both of which offer exchange programs for red and blue Americans - and offer to host one of the participants in your home, or arrange to stay with a friend from a different politically affiliated area during vacation.

The Science Behind It

Some of the most hopeful responses to our current political crisis in the U.S. have been the increase in exchange programs, which organize and supervise inter-partisan citizens' exchanges - many of them with young people. This more immersive contact between members of different groups (participants and host families) presents a considerable opportunity to get more in sync with someone from the other side.

Daily Reflection

End the day by taking a few notes on regularly integrating movement into your community engagement.

Set a daily reminder

Get daily exercise reminders on your phone or email throughout The Challenge to stay on track.

Better navigate politically polarizing situations

Repair strained relationships with family and friends

Become a less reactive and more effective communicator

The post Day 4 appeared first on Polarization Detox Challenge.

Day 3

peter — Sat, 23 Sep 2023 07:20:43 +0000

Back To Exercises

Week 4 Cooperative Change

Day 3

Complicate to Simplify

Intentionally complicate your life - introduce new viewpoints and learn to tolerate and learn from contradiction, nuance, and opposition - before you zero in on actionable decisions.

Today's Inspiring Playlist Listen On Spotify

Share today's exercises

Exercises

Choose Your Lift Level

What do you have capacity for today? Whether it's a light lift, or something a little heavier, taking a step is what counts.

5 minutes 30 minutes Half a day

5 minutes

Make Three New News Frenemies

If you didn't choose this option previously, complicate your understanding of current events by locating and following three legitimate (well-intentioned, informed, and decent) sources of news and opinion that differ from you politically. Plan to turn to them whenever news breaks this week and you feel inclined to turn to your usual news sources. You can locate these sources by checking out reporting from news groups like All Sides and Flip Side.

The Science Behind It

Our news habits have a profound effect on our understanding of the world. Due to our upbringing and education, we are likely to have a few sources that we automatically turn to out of habit when we want to get information about a current event. Having a familiar source to rely on for news can be comforting. But all news programs have some editorial bias, so it is useful to intentionally change channels or websites when news breaks to seek out contrary, albeit legitimate, views on events. This is an excellent exercise for your mind and your attitude.

30 minutes

Go to School on Your Issue

Go to the National Issues Forums Institute website and download one of their discussion guides on the dozens of divisive issues they have covered.

Download A Discussion Guide

The Science Behind It

If participating in a dialogue session over politically divisive issues feels like too much for you at this stage, begin by educating yourself about the various sub-issues, dilemmas, and trade-offs inherent to many of the proposed solutions on the more challenging issues we face in our country today. These guides present multiple perspectives on each issue in a way that will inform and challenge anyone's thinking, but they do so without leaning too heavily in any one direction. Pick a topic and check one out! If you feel up for the challenge, share it with someone you know across the aisle and then ask them for their take on it.

Half a day

Visit "Other-Land" - Travel to Politically Different Places and Listen

If you feel comfortable doing so, get in a car or on a bus or bike and travel to a community with a different political majority than your own for a short visit or holiday.

Consider using one of these maps to locate a neighborhood, town, or county near you that differs from your political orientation and visit for part of the day. Then, head to a diner, café, library, or town hall and take in life there. But this time, ask members of the community their thoughts on solutions to your issue of interest. And just listen. Ask clarifying questions, but try to avoid criticism. Just listen to what is important to them and why. You will be surprised by what you can learn when you just hear.

Visit Other Land

The Science Behind It

Research has found that more fruitful and satisfying conversations over moral issues often evidence a high ratio of inquiry-to-advocacy statements (genuinely asking questions to better understand the context of events and issues rather than just advocating a position). This is one way to practice the need to resist and fight for your side on the issues while at the same time, finding and nurturing the decency and humanity of those on all sides.

Set a daily reminder

Get daily exercise reminders on your phone or email throughout The Challenge to stay on track.

Better navigate politically polarizing situations

Repair strained relationships with family and friends

Become a less reactive and more effective communicator

The post Day 3 appeared first on Polarization Detox Challenge.

Day 2

peter — Sat, 23 Sep 2023 07:06:15 +0000

Back To Exercises

Week 4 Cooperative Change

Day 2

Spot Positive Deviance

Now is the time to locate the groups and organizations nationwide that know how to navigate tense political divisions and who can provide you with the support often necessary to do so effectively.

Today's Inspiring Playlist Listen On Spotify

Share today's exercises

Exercises

Choose Your Lift Level

What do you have capacity for today? Whether it's a light lift, or something a little heavier, taking a step is what counts.

5 minutes 20 minutes 1 hour+

5 minutes

Locate the Best Bridge-Building Organizations Working on Your Issue of Choice

Go to the Bridge Alliance website and identify organizations working on addressing divisions regarding your current issue of concern.

Visit The Website

The Science Behind It

The Bridge Alliance is an association of 103 organizations committed to revitalizing America through civic engagement, governance, policymaking, and campaign and election processes. Some of the top organizations in America are working to mend fences and identify common-ground solutions to some of our most pressing social challenges. Browse their website, join their movement, and then reach out to any organizations focused on your main issues of concern.

20 minutes

Leverage Taboos

Reflect on the most relevant taboos - the laws, norms, religious doctrines, etc. - that discourage contentious engagement over these issues. Are they shared and honored on all sides? Discuss with your political partner.

The Science Behind It

All groups and societies have social guardrails we call taboos. These are normative responses to those acts - large and small - that most community members find somewhere between wrong and hateful and are often met with shunning, condemnation, or worse. Taboos can be suffocating and a source of control and oppression, but they often serve and protect civility in communities. Give some thought to the local taboos in your community that, if honored, could help to shepherd the types of conversations over political differences that will help us all navigate them more fruitfully.

1 hour+

Familiarize Yourself With Some of the National Solutions to Polarization

Check out some of the various reports by civil society groups over the past two years that detail various actions you can take at the local, state, and national levels to stem the tide of division.

The good news here is that there are more and more academics, nonprofits, think tanks, and foundations that have been running studies and convening experts on the various activities that could help reduce the spike in polarization we have been seeing for decades. These include summaries and briefs such as:

Our Common Purpose (American Academy's Commission on the Practice of Democratic Citizenship)

Building a Resiliency Network: Toolkit (Over Zero)

Building U.S. Resilience to Political Violence (Over Zero)

Racial Reckoning in the United States (Carnegie Endowment for International Peace)

Renewing American Democracy (Beyond Conflict)

Building Sustainable Peace and Preventing Political Violence in the United States (Alliance for Peacebuilding)

Do Americans Really Care for Each Other? (Making Caring Common Project)

Public Policy and Health in the Trump Era (The Lancet Commission)

Countless nonprofit organizations are doing good work on bridge-building in your area. Join them and support their efforts. (Psst, Starts With Us is a great one to join!)

Join Starts With Us

The Science Behind It

Sparking a social movement will require us all to move beyond identifying people and groups working in concert to make a difference - it will require us to join them in common cause. If you do, know that you are part of a growing movement of Americans from all political persuasions who believe in our capacities as a nation to correct course and build a better future.

Daily Reflection

End the day by noting how these groups might give rise to a renewed sense of efficacy and hope in our nation.

Set a daily reminder

Get daily exercise reminders on your phone or email throughout The Challenge to stay on track.

Better navigate politically polarizing situations

Repair strained relationships with family and friends

Become a less reactive and more effective communicator

The post Day 2 appeared first on Polarization Detox Challenge.

Day 1

peter — Sat, 23 Sep 2023 06:59:02 +0000

Back To Exercises

Week 4 Cooperative Change

Day 1

Stop to Reset

Before launching off into your exercises this week, take some time to reflect on politics in general and your interaction with politics. Regroup and intentionally choose and prepare for a new course of action.

Today's Inspiring Playlist Listen On Spotify

Share today's exercises

Exercises

Choose Your Lift Level

What do you have capacity for today? Whether it's a light lift, or something a little heavier, taking a step is what counts.

5 minutes 10 minutes 15 minutes

5 minutes

See Change Happening Up Top

Read this article about the Select Committee on the Modernization of Congress and its bipartisanship, even in the face of hyper-polarization throughout Washington. If they can make progress, how can we?

Read This Article

The Science Behind It

Becoming cynical about our government and elected leaders today is easy and tempting. Those with the loudest megaphones in Congress tend to spout blame and foreboding more freely. Facts are simply an inconvenience. Our Capitol seems flooded with lobbyist money, cronyism, partisanship, and favoritism - all while Rome burns.

But even in Washington today, well-intentioned people and groups are fighting the good fight to keep our government civil and intact. Groups like the veterans' For Country Caucus and the House Problem Solvers Caucus are fighting against polarization and stalemates in Washington to get our country back on track. One great example is the current Select Committee. Check out their considerable progress to date, and note that even politicians and Congress can and do change!

10 minutes

Check Your Social Media Persona

Take this social media quiz and then reflect on a) how much time you want to be on social media, b) the possible negative consequences of it, and c) the general tone of your posts and comments (a.k.a., your social media persona).

Take The Quiz

The Science Behind It

I have a good friend who is a brilliant, decent, and accomplished person whose social media persona makes me cringe. She makes snide comments about others' actions and posts, which has gained her over 100K Twitter followers. She is aware of this tendency and often chastises herself for indulging in spite - but continues contributing to the gutter of social media. It is understandable how this happens. It is how most major social platforms work: The uglier the content, the more currency it has. And, yes, we all like the feeling of being "liked" and "shared." But at what cost to our sense of self, community, and political system? Maybe it is time to reevaluate our role in this.

15 minutes

To Fight or to Bridge?

Reimagining Your Approach to Political Engagement

Complete the Political Engagement Survey and then reflect on the implications of your responses for how you prefer to approach the trade-offs between activism and constructive bridge-building in your approach to political engagement.

Complete The Survey

The Science Behind It

Political engagement can take many forms. Two very different forms are constructive conflict resolution and political activism, which move in opposing directions.

Bridge-builders attempting to de-escalate tense, potentially violent conflicts and find common ground usually focus on reducing tension, reaching agreements, and rebuilding trust and harmony. In contrast, activists often aim to increase tension around wrongs and injustice by highlighting the harmful consequences of problematic attitudes, norms, policies, and institutions to mobilize resistance to challenge and reform them. Both forms of political engagement are vital to a healthy, functioning society. However, activist orientations prevail during extreme polarization - and bridge-building is often sidelined.

Set a daily reminder

Get daily exercise reminders on your phone or email throughout The Challenge to stay on track.

Better navigate politically polarizing situations

Repair strained relationships with family and friends

Become a less reactive and more effective communicator

The post Day 1 appeared first on Polarization Detox Challenge.

Day 5

peter — Sat, 23 Sep 2023 06:52:28 +0000

Back To Exercises

Week 3 Cross The Divide

Day 5

Adapt to Setbacks

The key here is to expect and learn from setbacks and how to take a long view of planning informed by the best research on effective decision-making in complex, unpredictable environments.

Today's Inspiring Playlist Listen On Spotify

Share today's exercises

Exercises

Choose Your Lift Level

What do you have capacity for today? Whether it's a light lift, or something a little heavier, taking a step is what counts.

5 minutes 30 minutes 30 minutes

5 minutes

Have Some Fun With Unintended Consequences

Watch and discuss these two short videos (video 1 and video 2) with your political partner on unintended consequences. Then, discuss what this might mean for how you have been approaching conflicts in your relationship.

The Science Behind It

Today, most Americans who try to reach out and speak with people on the other side of our current political divide often leave feeling even more frustrated and alienated than they did before the conversation. This is largely due to unmet expectations - if we can sit down and reason with them, we can find ways to agree on the issues that divide us (essentially by showing them how they are misinformed!). But these effects rarely happen. Changes in rapport and trust in these relationships take time and will experience setbacks. The sooner we can come to terms with this, the more likely we will take such setbacks less seriously and persevere.

30 minutes

Learn From Past Setbacks

It is natural for setbacks to happen. Give some thought to past setbacks in this or other relationships and how you navigated through them more effectively.

Reflect on a past relationship (of yours or between others in your life) that felt stuck at some point but then moved on successfully. Recall the roadmap of this journey. Were there things you thought would help that didn't (e.g., direct contact or confrontation) and things that helped that you didn't think would at the time (others intervening, time, unexpected crises, etc.)? Try to make connections between 1) the fact that change can happen, even when it feels impossible, and 2) sometimes, it's hard to predict what will push you forward and what will be a setback. Remember that it is okay to have setbacks.

The Science Behind It

All mediators are taught that once disputants reach an agreement and feel satisfied with their outcomes, they should ask them to agree to return to mediation should the agreement collapse. Life and relationships are complicated and constantly in flux; what seems like a reasonable arrangement now may not still appear so in six months. Agreeing to return to discuss the issue helps disputants implicitly acknowledge that setbacks happen and gives them some recourse other than re-escalating the conflict after a setback occurs.

30 minutes

Take Multiple Actions

Put multiple eggs in many baskets. Jot down a few of the main forces pulling you and your political partner apart, and brainstorm what you might try to tackle together.

The Science Behind It

Research on effective decision-making in challenging situations has taught us that trying to effect change in multiple ways, rather than one way, increases your chances of success. When relationships are pulled apart by a constellation of factors that pits us against one another, it is often necessary to address various forces simultaneously to make a difference. Of course, you will need to pay close attention to what seems to help if you want to sustain progress - but when intervening in complex problems, more is more.

Daily Reflection

End the week by connecting the dots. How have the five experiences you had this week affected this relationship?

Set a daily reminder

Get daily exercise reminders on your phone or email throughout The Challenge to stay on track.

Better navigate politically polarizing situations

Repair strained relationships with family and friends

Become a less reactive and more effective communicator

The post Day 5 appeared first on Polarization Detox Challenge.

Day 4

peter — Sat, 23 Sep 2023 02:26:41 +0000

Back To Exercises

Week 3 Cross The Divide

Day 4

Move to Synchronize

When you feel trapped in an oppositional relationship, get up and get moving with someone on the other side to come closer together. It's neuroscience!

Today's Inspiring Playlist Listen On Spotify

Share today's exercises

Exercises

Choose Your Lift Level

What do you have capacity for today? Whether it's a light lift, or something a little heavier, taking a step is what counts.

5 minutes 1 hour Half a day

5 minutes

Think Together (A Vulcan Mind Meld)

Share and read this article with a "political partner" on moving together from Greater Good magazine and discuss.

Read The Article

The Science Behind It

Another method of fostering connections through joint motion happens in thinking together. For example, reading a shared text and, ideally, discussing it afterward is another way to get in sync cognitively. You are moving together through a similar cognitive landscape, which can forge common understandings and connections. For you Trekkies, think of this as a Vulcan mind meld!

1 hour

Take a Walk Together!

Invite your partner to take a walk with you.

The Science Behind It

Research has found that moving physically in sync with others - ideally, outside in nature and side by side - can help to forge deeper social bonds than merely sitting and speaking together. This can be particularly helpful when the conflict you are immersed in has settled into your neurological structures, making it hard even to consider the other person's POV. The neurological rewiring effects of physical activity done with another person have been seen in research with everything from marching bands and sports teams to dance groups and combat units. People seem to form deeper bonds when physically moving together.

Half a day

March Together

Identify a common concern or cause you care about with your political partner and find a way to support the movement together.

The Science Behind It

Suppose you and your partner are inhabiting polar opposite worlds these days (like Fox News vs. MSNBC spheres). In that case, this will be a heavy lift, as the degree of ideological consistency (the consistency of opinions across distinct policy issues) within political tribes has been growing for decades.

Nevertheless, many reds and blues still share concerns - animal adoption, homelessness, lack of affordable housing, gun safety - that can be opportunities to work together. If this is the case, lean into these causes and see if you can encourage one another to join a march or work together to serve your shared goals.

Daily Reflection

End the day by taking a few notes on regularly integrating movement into your relationships.

Set a daily reminder

Get daily exercise reminders on your phone or email throughout The Challenge to stay on track.

Better navigate politically polarizing situations

Repair strained relationships with family and friends

Become a less reactive and more effective communicator

The post Day 4 appeared first on Polarization Detox Challenge.

Day 3

peter — Sat, 23 Sep 2023 02:18:52 +0000

Back To Exercises

Week 3 Cross The Divide

Day 3

Complicate to Simplify

Intentionally complicate your oppositional relationship to the "other group" - challenge the assumption of opposition and learn to recognize complexity in both positions - before you zero in on actionable decisions.

Today's Inspiring Playlist Listen On Spotify

Share today's exercises

Exercises

Choose Your Lift Level

What do you have capacity for today? Whether it's a light lift, or something a little heavier, taking a step is what counts.

5 minutes 30 minutes Practice

5 minutes

Open Your Mind Before Making Decisions

Watch the beginning of this brief video (ideally with your partner) on integrative thinking. The video is a little slow, so feel free to watch it sped up!

Watch The Video

The Science Behind It

"Integrative thinking" is the capacity to unpack complex problems and examine different aspects of them - and approaches to them - from other points of view before zeroing in on what to change and how to go about it. It often involves synthesizing what appear to be opposing views or remedies. This manner of thinking is not often taught in schools, but we can learn to do it, and it is essential to constructive conflict management around more thorny issues.

Give it a try!

30 minutes

Complicate Your Relationship

Create a "Life Map" for the other person in this relationship.

Get Started

The Science Behind It

The psychologists John and Julie Gottman have created a process called "Creating a Love Map" used in some marriages stuck in conflict. Love may be a bridge too far for the politically-challenged relationship you are currently focused on, so let's just call this a "Life Map." Invite your partner to join you. Use this list of questions (pick a few that resonate most with you), and try to answer them to discover and expand how much you know about each other's world.

Remember, the more you know about each other, the more you feel a strong connection and the easier and more worthwhile it will be to discuss your political differences.

Practice

Discover Dialogue

Learn, use, and practice dialogue rather than debate. Review the difference between dialogue and debate here. With these differences in mind, attempt a dialogue with your partner. Think about steps to shift your interactions in this direction moving forward.

Most Americans are trained from birth to debate - it seems it is in our DNA. We see our parents do it, learn it in school, see it on courtroom TV shows, and observe our political leaders doing it daily during political campaigns. The message is hard to miss - for all things political, we must stubbornly debate.

However, debate involves a particularly narrow form of cognitive communication focused on scoring points and winning the game. So, we listen carefully to our opponent's arguments to locate the flaws in their logic and then weaponize them. Nevertheless, this competitive, win-lose exchange is not all we have.

Dialogue is an important alternative to conversing and needs to be better known. It is essentially the opposite of debate. In dialogue, we share stories and converse with others to learn and discover new information - about the other person, our relationships, the issues, and even ourselves. This is not a sport, but school, a place where we expand our understanding of complex matters that matter.

Daily Reflection

End the day by making a few notes on how to practice and build on these processes.

Set a daily reminder

Get daily exercise reminders on your phone or email throughout The Challenge to stay on track.

Better navigate politically polarizing situations

Repair strained relationships with family and friends

Become a less reactive and more effective communicator

The post Day 3 appeared first on Polarization Detox Challenge.

Day 2

peter — Sat, 23 Sep 2023 02:12:41 +0000

Back To Exercises

Week 3 Cross The Divide

Day 2

Spot Positive Deviance

Now is the time to locate the groups and organizations that have already been navigating tense divisions between you and the "other side" and who can provide you with the kinds of support often necessary to do so effectively or even act as a model.

Today's Inspiring Playlist Listen On Spotify

Share today's exercises

Exercises

Choose Your Lift Level

What do you have capacity for today? Whether it's a light lift, or something a little heavier, taking a step is what counts.

5 minutes 20 minutes 1-2 hours

5 minutes

See How Others Are Finding a Way Out

Check out this introductory video from the One Small Step initiative and these two other videos (video one and video two), or listen to one or more of these Stories of Hope.

The Science Behind It

The good news these days is that despite our rising political contempt, many Americans in the political middle are finding ways to speak with others across the divide and make connections. No, they aren't reconciling their differences over fraught issues like the Trump presidency or gun safety, but they are coming to recognize their shared concerns, hopes, and dreams. These encounters can begin to seed and increase the positive-to-negative ratio discussed in yesterday's Heavy Lift Exercise.

20 minutes

What Can You Contribute to the Solution?

Try the Find Your Community exercise.

Try The Exercise

The Science Behind It

Finding a way out of our culture of contempt will require recognizing that we will need many different kinds of people acting in different ways across our nation to begin reducing the odds of violence, healing our divides, and building a new future together. Given this, it is helpful to reflect on where your skills, orientations, and strengths fit in. Use this worksheet to think strategically about how you are most equipped to contribute.

1-2 hours

Reach Out to a Personal (Informal) Mediator

Try to find someone that you and the person you conflict with trust to help you sit down and have a more reasonable conversation.

If you have identified a challenging relationship for this exercise, you have likely already tried and failed to simply talk things out. If so, ask for help.

The Science Behind It

Most of us know people in our families, friend groups, or workplaces who seem to understand how to help others in conflict. They are not formal mediators, but they have often grown up in situations where they learned to listen, calm hostilities, and help others find common ground. It seems to come naturally to them (my oldest brother Bob was like this). Can you think of someone you both know and trust? If so, ask for their help.

This might involve asking them for advice on how best to approach this relationship differently - or what to keep in mind. Or, you might ask if they would be willing to sit down with you both and offer guidance and support in working things out.

Set a daily reminder

Get daily exercise reminders on your phone or email throughout The Challenge to stay on track.

Better navigate politically polarizing situations

Repair strained relationships with family and friends

Become a less reactive and more effective communicator

The post Day 2 appeared first on Polarization Detox Challenge.

Day 1

peter — Sat, 23 Sep 2023 02:06:00 +0000

Back To Exercises

Week 3 Cross The Divide

Day 1

Stop to Reset

Before launching off into a new encounter this week, take some time to reflect, regroup, and intentionally choose and prepare for a new course of action.

Today's Inspiring Playlist Listen On Spotify

Share today's exercises

Exercises

Choose Your Lift Level

What do you have capacity for today? Whether it's a light lift, or something a little heavier, taking a step is what counts.

5 minutes 15 minutes 30 minutes

5 minutes

Here Comes the Judge!

Complete the Blame Intensity Inventory.

Take this inventory and assess your tendency to blame. Then, either on a piece of paper or a device, note every time you notice yourself drawn to blame or judge - whatever the cause. You may be surprised by what you find.

Take The Inventory

The Science Behind It

Our addiction to blame and outrage is toxic and is a central part of the vicious cycle of polarization we are trapped in.

15 minutes

How Do You Derail in Conflict?

Take the Conflict Anxiety Response Scale (CARS) assessment and review your feedback report.

Take The Scale

The Science Behind It

The way we approach conflicts in our lives is strongly affected by our anxieties. These may be based on fears of our own or others' aggression getting out of control, a sense of helplessness, or concerns over the pain and discomfort conflict may bring. Experiencing higher anxiety levels makes us more inclined to experience or instigate conflict. Being engaged in conflict, in turn, tends to make most of us feel even more anxious. Many of us respond to conflict in extreme and harmful ways when this happens, stressing our closer relationships.

So, how can you get conflict right? Take the CARS. Then, reflect on how you tend to respond when anxious. Knowing yourself is the first step to changing how you respond.

30 minutes

Know (and Grow) Your Positivity-to-Negativity Ratio

Practice cultivating positivity and minimizing obstacles to constructive dialogue, or take an emotional reservoirs assessment.

The Science Behind It

One of the most powerful findings in conflict research over the last few decades is the power of our emotional ratios. That is, how our positive-to-negative experiences of others accumulate over time to grow emotional reservoirs that set the stage for our next encounters.

The relationship will likely withstand and benefit from conflict when we have high positive-to-negative ratios. However, low positive-to-negative ratios mean the stage is set for battle, no matter how minor your conflicts may be. Becoming mindful of our ratios is crucial to constructive conflict management.
So, take either or both assessments and reflect on your current positive-to-negative ratio and how you might consider changing it.

Daily Reflection

End the day by reflecting on how your intentions and past experiences with your more politically-challenged relationships can set the stage for problems or new possibilities.

Set a daily reminder

Get daily exercise reminders on your phone or email throughout The Challenge to stay on track.

Better navigate politically polarizing situations

Repair strained relationships with family and friends

Become a less reactive and more effective communicator

The post Day 1 appeared first on Polarization Detox Challenge.