{"id":1871,"date":"2023-07-25T20:48:23","date_gmt":"2023-07-25T20:48:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/buildersmovement.org\/?p=1871"},"modified":"2023-12-15T15:44:13","modified_gmt":"2023-12-15T15:44:13","slug":"working-towards-depolarization","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/buildersmovement.org\/2023\/07\/25\/working-towards-depolarization\/","title":{"rendered":"“You Want Us to Compromise With Those Extremists?”: A Common Objection to This Work"},"content":{"rendered":"

People in America working to overcome toxic polarization and the toxic us vs. them mindset are often met with the same criticism: \u201cIsn\u2019t asking everyone to \u2018meet in the middle\u2019 normalizing extreme or harmful viewpoints? What about violent hate groups? Should we engage with them?\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n

It’s sometimes assumed that depolarization movements value unity above everything else, and they just want \u201ceveryone to get along\u201d or compromise, no matter how unreasonable one position may be.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

This couldn\u2019t be further from the truth. That is not our work.<\/span><\/p>\n

We are <\/span>not<\/b> trying to \u201cmeet in the middle\u201d or ask anyone to negotiate with ideas they view as extreme or dangerous. Starts With Us also is not a movement specifically for moderates or centrists, either.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

We are encouraging an examination of <\/span>how we view<\/span><\/i> our political opponents and <\/span>how we engage<\/span><\/i> with them. <\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

For one thing, many of us are just plain wrong about what we think the \u201cother side\u201d believes and what motivates them. Research shows that our views of our fellow citizens <\/span>can be overly pessimistic<\/span><\/a>: we imagine the \u201cother side\u201d to be more extreme and <\/span>hostile<\/span><\/a> than they are. Many of us have <\/span>a distorted idea<\/span><\/a> of how likely our political opponents are to support political violence.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

This is why attempting outreach and dialogue with our political opponents is important. It allows us to learn if we are mistaken, and by how much, about the \u201cother side.\u201d We may see aspects of their motivations we didn\u2019t know about, which make their views more human and comprehensible \u2014 even if we disagree with them.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Because the views of our political opponents are often so distorted, we behave in ways that amplify our divides. We insult them, dehumanize them, don\u2019t take their concerns seriously, or see them as disingenuous liars. And this bolsters their beliefs that we hate them and feeds their animosity. These dynamics give power to divisive people and ideas, making angry, insulting, and even violent behaviors more likely, feeding a vicious cycle of division. <\/span><\/p>\n

There is even evidence that our animosity, due to the us vs. them conflict, can play a role in <\/span>shifting our stances<\/span><\/a> on <\/span>various issues<\/span><\/a>. If we hate the other side, then we\u2019ll try to be and act as opposite of them as we can, which, in turn, makes us more hardened in our views and less willing to compromise. When you have high contempt for the other side, then you\u2019ll see more and more political disagreements as highly moral in nature and become less willing to see others\u2019 points of view and, in turn, become less willing to compromise. So, in these ways, our contempt and animosity build walls and isolate us, which are some of the very dynamics and behaviors that upset us. <\/span><\/p>\n

Abraham Lincoln understood the importance of not demonizing his opponents or indulging in abusive stereotypes. He was careful not to treat his opponents as less than human or too depraved and delusional to try to understand.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory will swell when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature. Have I not destroyed my enemy when I have made him into my friend?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s easy to imagine a world where Lincoln didn\u2019t follow his own advice \u2014 a world where he spoke in insulting and divisive ways and, in doing so, made it harder for him to achieve his goals. We can see how such approaches aren\u2019t only for resolving conflict but also <\/span>effective strategies for achieving lasting change<\/span><\/a>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

We can be confident that \u201cwe\u2019re right\u201d yet still be <\/span>wrong in how we engage with our \u201cenemies.\u201d<\/span><\/a> It\u2019s possible to work toward your political goals while keeping in mind the complexity and humanity of the \u201cother side\u201d and while trying to speak <\/span>humbly<\/span><\/a> and persuasively.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Democracy is <\/span>hard work<\/span><\/a> \u2014 it often requires many people to abide by laws and policies they think are wrong. Part of that work is recognizing that the people we greatly disagree with are not going away \u2014 they are our fellow citizens, for better or worse.<\/span><\/p>\n

At Starts With Us, we are guided by <\/span>the 3Cs<\/span><\/a> (curiosity, compassion, and courage) to help politically passionate people engage in dialogue and search for understanding and connection across differences. With these powerful tools, we can create an America that is both more peaceful <\/span>and<\/b> more just.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

People in America working to overcome toxic polarization and the toxic us vs. them mindset are often met with the same criticism: \u201cIsn\u2019t asking everyone to \u2018meet in the middle\u2019 normalizing extreme or harmful viewpoints? What about violent hate groups? Should we engage with them?\u201d It’s sometimes assumed that depolarization movements value unity above everything…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":28,"featured_media":1882,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"collection_feed":[],"type_feed":[77],"class_list":["post-1871","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n"You Want Us to Compromise With Those Extremists?": A Common Objection to This Work - Builders<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/buildersmovement.org\/2023\/07\/25\/working-towards-depolarization\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\""You Want Us to Compromise With Those Extremists?": A Common Objection to This Work - Builders\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"People in America working to overcome toxic polarization and the toxic us vs. them mindset are often met with the same criticism: \u201cIsn\u2019t asking everyone to \u2018meet in the middle\u2019 normalizing extreme or harmful viewpoints? 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