{"id":45826,"date":"2025-02-10T18:05:27","date_gmt":"2025-02-10T18:05:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/buildersmovement.org\/?p=45826"},"modified":"2025-02-12T19:32:07","modified_gmt":"2025-02-12T19:32:07","slug":"6-lessons-love-from-bipartisan-couple","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/buildersmovement.org\/2025\/02\/10\/6-lessons-love-from-bipartisan-couple\/","title":{"rendered":"6 Lessons on Love: How a Democrat and Republican Make It Work"},"content":{"rendered":"

Drew Benbow<\/a> is a Republican and Sydney Bradford<\/a> is a Democrat. They met more than twenty years ago as political science majors at Hampton University, and fell in love after reconnecting nearly two years ago. We talked to Drew and Sydney about what makes their relationship work. We\u2019ve got six takeaways that could apply to anyone \u2014 whether in love, friendships, or everyday conversations.<\/span><\/p>\n

Drew and Sydney got some attention last year for opening a bar in Washington, D.C. called Political Pattie\u2019s<\/a>, which they hoped would foster bipartisan conversation. Opening the bar led to a lot of criticism and anger; some referred to it as \u201c<\/span>DC\u2019s most hated bar<\/span><\/a>.\u201d It closed in December of 2024, less than three months after opening.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In a <\/span>Politico piece about the bar\u2019s closing<\/span><\/a>, Drew said what happened to Pattie\u2019s should alarm us. \u201cIf you are so offended by the mere sight of a symbol representing the other party that it drives you to anger and vitriol, then that should be concerning.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

After their bar closed, Drew and Sydney created a SuperPAC to promote political civility \u2014 the same goal they had with Pattie\u2019s. Drew said, \u201cWe\u2019d like to find candidates out there in the country who we are likely to work across the aisle with and pair them up with other candidates of the other party.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Here are six tips from Drew and Sydney for a strong, lasting relationship across political differences.\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n

1. Focus on the Person, Not Their Politics<\/b><\/h3>\n

Political identity is just one aspect of a person: it doesn\u2019t define their entire character.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhen it comes to matters of the heart, I believe that you should focus on the core of who a person is outside of the political affiliation,\u201d Sydney explains. \u201cWhere they fall in the political spectrum is just so much less important than\u2026 whether or not they have ethics that align with yours.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Drew adds, \u201cWe see the humanity in each other. We see the fact that we love each other and we put the person above the politics, all the way, all the time.<\/span><\/p>\n

2. Approach Differences as an Opportunity to Learn<\/b><\/h3>\n

Drew and Sydney view their political differences as opportunities for growth.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cEvery time we come to an impasse, intellectually, politically, we use that as an opportunity to learn more,\u201d Drew says. \u201cSometimes her arguments are better, and sometimes mine are better\u2026 But we always take that as an opportunity to learn about each other.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Sydney echoes this sentiment: \u201cThe greatest challenge can often be your greatest asset. So in that respect, we find a lot of value in the way we think about things differently.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

3. Keep an Open Mind \u2014 And Listen<\/b><\/h3>\n

One key to navigating political differences is a willingness to listen without immediately challenging the other person.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI say keep an open mind and listen. Sometimes you just have to hear that perspective without challenging,\u201d Drew advises.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sydney adds that staying informed and open to new information is crucial: \u201cSometimes staying true to your beliefs means learning new data and staying smart on an issue.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But Drew also emphasizes that, as we listen, it\u2019s also okay to have an opinion: \u201cIt’s okay to have a perspective. Don’t ever let someone tell you that it’s not okay because it’s okay. That’s the whole basis of our democracy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

4. Find Common Ground First<\/b><\/h3>\n

For new relationships where both people see potential, focus first on shared interests.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIf you agree on sports, start there. If you agree on the fact that you both hate traffic tickets, start there,\u201d Drew says. Building on commonalities creates a stronger foundation for discussing differences later.<\/span><\/p>\n

This strategy works beyond romantic relationships. It\u2019s a great way to have more productive and respectful conversations with anyone who sees the world differently.<\/span><\/p>\n

5. Replace \u2018Deal-Breaking\u2019 with \u2018Deal-Making\u2019<\/b><\/h3>\n

When asked if any political beliefs could be a dealbreaker in their relationship, Drew has a different perspective: \u201cI don’t think in terms of deal-breaking, I think in terms of deal-making.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Focusing on intentions can make things more clear. This is why Drew says, \u201cI don’t believe that there’s anything that is a deal breaker for us.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Sydney agrees: \u201cI don’t think of things in terms of a potential political deal breaker, but instead opportunities to grow and to build on our relationship.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

6. Connection First, Politics Second<\/b><\/h3>\n

\u201cI had the benefit of falling in love before even knowing Drew\u2019s political affiliation,\u201d Sydney shares. The secret is not letting yourself be so worried about their political views aligning with your own but \u201cinstead focusing on the person and who they are and what they mean to you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Drew adds, \u201cThe secret is always remembering why you fell in love with that person in the first place. If you put humanity first, politics won\u2019t come between you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

This can be the area that makes or breaks a relationship. Contempt is a relationship killer, whether related to politics or something else. Relationship therapist <\/span>Anita Chlipala<\/span><\/a> says it may be time to consider ending a relationship if you feel \u201cyour partner has contempt toward you, and they are unwilling to accept your perspective.”<\/span><\/p>\n

The unfortunate thing about our political divides is that they can easily lead to contempt. When it\u2019s hard to understand the \u201cother side\u201d and when the stakes seem so high, it\u2019s easy to be sucked into disdain and contempt. Keeping the humanity of your partner in mind is key to avoiding such pitfalls.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Lessons for America?<\/b><\/h3>\n

Sydney and Drew\u2019s relationship offers a lesson for a deeply divided country: it <\/span>is<\/span><\/i> possible to coexist, even with significant differences.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Understanding each other doesn\u2019t mean agreeing on everything. It means having the patience, respect, and curiosity to truly listen. And that\u2019s something we could all use more of \u2014 whether in love, politics, or life.<\/span><\/p>\n

Drew says, \u201cWe think the world can learn from bipartisan couples like us that it’s possible and that it’s worth it\u2026 and it’s an unbelievable amount of fun as well.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Follow Drew and Sydney on Instagram: @drewbenbow<\/a> | @sydcbradford<\/a> | @pattiesdc<\/a><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Join the Builders Movement!\u00a0<\/i>buildersmovement.org\/invite<\/i><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Drew Benbow is a Republican and Sydney Bradford is a Democrat. They met more than twenty years ago as political science majors at Hampton University, and fell in love after reconnecting nearly two years ago. We talked to Drew and Sydney about what makes their relationship work. 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