{"id":46084,"date":"2025-07-02T15:09:19","date_gmt":"2025-07-02T15:09:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/buildersmovement.org\/?p=46084"},"modified":"2025-07-02T15:09:19","modified_gmt":"2025-07-02T15:09:19","slug":"how-politics-social-media-fuel-the-gender-divide","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/buildersmovement.org\/2025\/07\/02\/how-politics-social-media-fuel-the-gender-divide\/","title":{"rendered":"How Politics & Social Media Fuel the Gender Divide"},"content":{"rendered":"

When it comes to relationships between men and women, something\u2019s gone sideways.<\/span><\/p>\n

We\u2019re in the middle of what researchers are calling a “<\/span>romantic recession<\/span><\/a>.” Young people are reporting record levels of pessimism toward dating. And although the “male loneliness epidemic” gets more headlines, <\/span>women are lonelier than ever<\/span><\/a>, too.<\/span><\/p>\n

This isn\u2019t just a problem for romance\u2014it\u2019s a cultural check engine light. When trust between men and women breaks down, it corrodes workplaces, chips away at communities, and frays the basic social fabric we all depend on.<\/span><\/p>\n

The causes are complicated. But one thing is clear: the mistrust isn\u2019t just emotional. It\u2019s structural. Rapid social change, social media, and political polarization are fueling a gender divide wider than the distance between Venus and Mars.<\/span><\/p>\n

And amidst all of it, most men and women still want connection. They just don\u2019t trust each other to offer it safely.<\/span><\/p>\n

So the question isn\u2019t \u201cWho\u2019s to blame?\u201d It\u2019s <\/span>\u201cHow do we fix it before the damage becomes permanent?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Social media is making men and women hate each other<\/strong><\/h3>\n

It\u2019s no secret that on social media, bad takes float like dead goldfish \u2014 right to the top.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\" \"\"<\/p>\n

These talking points don\u2019t live on the fringes. They come verbatim from two of the biggest influencers in the game right now: Andrew Tate and Drew Afualo, respectively. The girlies have thought leaders like Afualo, who\u2019s racked up 8.2 million TikTok followers primarily by shitting on men. And the boys have dude-bro \u201cself-help\u201d gurus like Tate, an accused rapist and sex-trafficker, who had over 5 million TikTok followers before the platform banned him for (surprise, surprise) flagrant misogyny.<\/span><\/p>\n

Between the manosphere, girlbosses, and tradwives, influencers are also sending men and women all kinds of signals about who they\u2019re supposed to be. And the confusion around shifting gender roles makes us more entrenched in our in-groups, furthering our distrust of each other.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAll men are trash.\u201d \u201cAll women are manipulative gold-diggers.\u201d The algorithm saw that bullshit go viral and said, \u201cYes. More of that. Forever.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

This content confirms your worst fears: that women are gold-digging narcissists, that men are cold-blooded commitment-phobes, and that trusting someone is just asking to be emotionally waterboarded.<\/span><\/p>\n

So why does social media amplify the most bad-faith arguments? Because <\/span>rage is profitable, baby.<\/b><\/p>\n

TikTok, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter (or whatever we\u2019re calling it now) and all the others are designed to maximize engagement. And they quickly realized users are<\/span> most<\/span><\/i> engaged<\/span><\/a> when they\u2019re arguing in the comments section. So, the most controversial and inflammatory content is featured more heavily on our feeds. And since you see it so often, it starts to feel like <\/span>truth<\/span><\/i>\u2014even if it\u2019s just a highly personalized spiral designed by code and capitalism.<\/span><\/p>\n

So while you\u2019re doomscrolling through clips of Chad Thunderfinance explaining why love is a psyop or Alexis FitMom insisting your husband didn\u2019t do the dishes because he\u2019s cheating, actual connection is sitting somewhere outside the bubble like, \u201cHey, maybe we could talk this out?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

But you won\u2019t see that. The algorithm didn\u2019t feed it to you.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But you know what the algo has no problem feeding you? Open wide, here comes the <\/span>politics<\/span><\/i>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Politics is exacerbating things<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Dating used to be about chemistry, connection, maybe a mutual hatred of cilantro. Now it\u2019s often about <\/span>who you voted for<\/span><\/i>. And for many people, that question isn\u2019t small talk \u2014 it\u2019s a moral filter.<\/span><\/p>\n

According to<\/span> polls<\/span><\/a> conducted by the American Survey Center, <\/span>90% of single women who voted for Kamala Harris say they\u2019d be less likely to date someone who supports Donald Trump<\/b>. About three-quarters say they\u2019d be <\/span>a lot<\/span><\/i> less likely.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

For many of these women, it\u2019s not about disagreement on taxes or border policy \u2014 it\u2019s about character. \u201cIt is no longer a political difference; it is a difference in morals,\u201d one woman told the pollsters. Trump\u2019s history of derogatory statements about women and allegations of sexual assault were listed as the biggest dealbreakers.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

But the gender split isn\u2019t one-directional. <\/span>Nearly 40% of single men say they\u2019d be less likely to date someone who identifies as a feminist,<\/b> even though more than half also say it wouldn\u2019t matter to them.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

We\u2019ve turned ideological identities into shorthand for trustworthiness. And when that happens, the conversation ends before it starts.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, how do we fix it?<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Stop feeding the rage machine: <\/b>Seriously. Stop. Unfollow the content that exists to provoke you. Algorithms are not moral compasses. Seek out creators who promote healthy relationships and real conversation. (Bonus points if they have actual credentials for this type of stuff, like <\/span>@shanebirkel<\/span><\/a> or <\/span>@dr.alexandra.solomon<\/span><\/a>.)<\/span><\/p>\n

And stop letting social media influence how you live your life. A thriving economy, a healthy democracy, and a functional society all depend on people being able to show up fully\u2014without shrinking to fit prescribed molds.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ditch the \u201cus-vs.-them\u201d mindset: <\/b>If someone says they\u2019re a feminist or a Trump supporter, ask what that means to them. Don\u2019t assume you already know.<\/span><\/p>\n

The men who refuse to date a feminist are likely reacting to the loud, online, \u201call men are trash\u201d caricature of feminism, not the actual movement, which at its core is just about equality and fairness.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And women might see a Trump vote as a character flaw, but some voters will say it wasn\u2019t about the man, it was about the policies. To them, pulling the lever was less an endorsement of behavior and more a bet on jobs, security, or simply not trusting the media to give the full story.<\/span><\/p>\n

While these points might not change your boundary (nor should they have to), understanding their reasoning can transform a moral wall into a real conversation\u2014even if it still ends with, \u201cThanks, but no.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Fixing these trust issues is crucial. We don\u2019t just need trust between men and women for romance. We need it to build businesses, pass laws, and solve problems together.<\/span><\/p>\n

We need to believe trust is possible again. And that starts by ditching prescribed gender scripts, political loyalty tests, and a social media algorithm that runs on outrage and oversimplification. It starts by talking to the people right in front of us.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2014Alex Buscemi (abuscemi@buildersmovement.org<\/a>)<\/p>\n

We\u2019re a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization on a mission to overcome our most toxic divides.
\n<\/span>Sign up<\/a> for our FREE weekly newsletter.<\/span><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When it comes to relationships between men and women, something\u2019s gone sideways. We\u2019re in the middle of what researchers are calling a “romantic recession.” Young people are reporting record levels of pessimism toward dating. And although the “male loneliness epidemic” gets more headlines, women are lonelier than ever, too. This isn\u2019t just a problem for…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":40,"featured_media":46089,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"collection_feed":[],"type_feed":[77],"class_list":["post-46084","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nHow Politics & Social Media Fuel the Gender Divide - Builders<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The romantic recession. 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